Respect-Me Rules

Written by research psychologist Michael Marshall and addictions counselor Shelly Marshall, Respect-me Rules argues that people in verbally and emotionally abusive relationships are not helpless victims but 'targets' who can change the dynamic. Through the 'Miracle Principle'—if you don't dance together, the dance ends—and twelve concrete boundary-setting rules, the book teaches readers to stop rewarding abuse, set consequences, tell secrets, and reclaim self-respect. It explicitly excludes physical violence, urging professional help in those cases.

• Reframes the 'victim' as a 'target' who has the power to stop abuse—an empowering, agency-focused approach.
• Twelve concrete, actionable 'Respect-Me Rules' with step-by-step enforcement scripts and real-life examples.
• Co-authored by a research psychologist and his sister, who survived an abusive marriage and shares raw personal stories.
• Includes a 'spot an abuser on the first date' checklist of red flags for those re-entering dating.

“You are a target, and you can stop being a target today. No one has to stand still for target practice.”

Perfect for an adult in a verbally or emotionally (non-physically) abusive relationship who wants concrete, actionable strategies to set boundaries and reclaim self-respect without necessarily leaving.