I Saw Heaven (Chapter Excerpt)


My Entry into the Spirit World

lay on my side after hitting the floor. I couldn’t feel any pain. In fact, I couldn’t feel anything. My first thought was, “Where is everyone?” I knew other people had been working in the warehouse but I couldn’t see them.

I looked around. Several large overhead bay doors were opened and I could see the sunlight filtering through the haze. I also could see the foreman’s office lined with glass windows and various support columns located throughout the warehouse.

I was confused as I began to lift off the floor and rose to an upright position. It was then I sensed I had died and was no longer inside my body. I was facing away from my body at the time and felt no desire to turn and look back at it.

The Foreboding Fog

As I looked about, everything had a light green cast, and I felt as though I were looking at everything through a light-green fog. It was the kind of a fog that seemed to pervade everything.

I was still feeling confused and bewildered as I began rising toward the ceiling. The closer I got to the ceiling, the thicker and darker the mist became, until at ceiling height it was as if I were standing in a very thick fog. It was as thick and foreboding as some of the worst fogs I’ve experienced while standing on the beaches in California, except this was far more mournful and desolate.

Agonized Souls in Outer Darkness

As I looked around, there seemed to be an endless sea of ago- nized souls floating in the fog. As some of them passed close by me, I could hear them moaning and groaning. The fog was so thick I could only make out their dim outlines. Their pain and grief washed over me. I was experiencing the uttermost feelings of the depths of despair. The overpowering feelings of frustra- tion and misery I felt seeped into me with a cold that chilled my very soul. I was racked with terrible torment and anguish. The feelings were suffocating me.

“My God,” I screamed. “Is this Hell? I can’t stand it. Please God, help me.” I pleaded with God to save me. I understood now what the scriptures mean when they talk about being cast out into outer darkness, and that the damned who are sent there moan and groan and thrash about and gnash their teeth because of their eternal despair.

A Loving Voice from the Light

I began ascending again and passed through the ceiling. Suddenly, a brilliant white light burst upon me. It was brighter than the sun and more intense. I was being pulled toward the light. I was drawn very close to it before I stopped.

As I stared intently into the light, I could faintly see facial fea- tures but nothing else. A soft, loving voice spoke to me from the light, and a peaceful calm came over me. I felt I was being com- forted. I also felt an unconditional love directed to me.

Judging Myself in a Life Review

The being within the light uttered a phrase which I can’t remember, but the phrase triggered a total recall of my life from the time when I was first born until the accident when I had died. My whole life passed before my eyes as if I were viewing a very vivid film. It was moving at a very high speed, and yet I could view each scene that unfolded with crystal clarity, and the speed seemed normal to me too.

It seemed as if I were judging myself, for I found no judgment from the being standing before me. Instead of condemnation, I felt an unconditional, loving tolerance such as a parent would feel toward his children after they’d done something wrong.

As the scenes of my life unfolded, I felt good knowing that I had handled certain situations very well. I could see how I had increased my spiritual development and advancement. But I didn’t like other scenes I saw. I judged myself very harshly because of the way I had handled them. I thought to myself how much better I could have dealt with those situations. I found myself desperately wanting to go back to correct my actions in them. The things I had botched had retarded my spiritual development and had held me back. I was being much harder on myself than any judge could ever be.

Exhilaration as Earthly Impurities Are Stripped Away

As the last scenes of my life played to an end, I became aware that the light from the being had intensified considerably. I could feel my body changing. As I looked down, I could see the light burning through me with tremendous force. Earthly impurities were being stripped from me as large areas of my body were becoming transparent. I could see the outlines of my spiritual body filling these transparent areas. I experienced no pain as the impurities and imperfections were stripped away.

I felt a tremendous exhilaration and elation as the last of the impurities were stripped from me. Things which I had been burdened with on the earth were gone. I felt truly free. It was wonderful not to be plagued by my earthly imperfections any longer.

For the first time I really understood how much excess bag- gage we carry with us through this life and how things we struggle with and can’t overcome while on the earth are burdens we carry with us all our lives. There are some burdens so great that we even carry them over with us into the spirit world.

The Importance of Forgiving Ourselves

I was told by the being that it was as important to forgive ourselves of our mistakes as it was to forgive others. The earth was a place for us to experiment and to learn. We would make mistakes along the way, but we would learn from our mistakes. Because we would make mistakes, it was important for us to learn to forgive ourselves.

I have learned that even God, the greatest of all, forgives us our sins and mistakes. Not being able to forgive ourselves only holds us back and keeps us from progressing. Our fear of personal failure is a quagmire which keeps us from trying anything.

A Parting View of Distant Earth

I felt whole, and complete, and more fully alive than at any time I can ever remember. When I turned and looked back at the earth, I was surprised to find it was so far away. I was seeing it from a great distance. It looked like a small, dirty brown ball, no bigger than a tennis ball. I felt a certain revulsion from the sight and was relieved and glad to be away from it.