The Reason Couples Should Have A Strong Friendship in their Marriage

Under the plan of heaven, the husband and wife walk side by side as companions, neither one ahead of the other, but a daughter of God and a son of God walking side by side. President Gordon B. Hinckley


Mature love has a bliss not even imagined by newlyweds—Boyd K. Packer


I love a good marriage. I love the loyalty of it. I love the combination of ultimate security, playfulness, romance, and friendship that it offers. The commandment known as marriage is genius! A good marriage anchors us in our families. Good families anchor the world. Peace on earth begins with peace at home, and peace at home begins with friendship.

The Prophet Joseph Smith taught that “friendship is one of the grand fundamental principles of Mormonism.” Friendship really is at the heart of every relationship, including our relationship with God. It’s a critical component of marriage.



A recently published report on twenty-five years of landmark marital research finds that “the linchpin of a lasting marriage . . . is a simple concept with a profound impact: friendship.” If the friend- ship part of marriage is strong, the resultant trickle down family effect can be heartwarming.

The best friendship of marriage is even closer, of course, than any other sort of best friendship. In the Bible, God commands couples to “be of one flesh.” There are a lot of emotions tied up in that flesh too. You are all blended together, so your emotions kind of sync. For example, if my husband is unhappy, especially with me, it’s really hard for me to be happy.


The reverse is also true. It is really hard for my husband to be happy if I am unhappy, especially with him. Spouses complete one another and become part of one another. If my leg was suddenly broken, it would upend my life. Similarly, if this part of me that I call my husband feels broken, I have to tend him. I have to pray for him. When he is well, I am well. When he is broken, I feel broken too.


The most important key to a bright and vibrant marriage is charity. When I was growing up, I thought charity meant a place to which you sent money so kids could eat more of the foods you hated but that your mom told you starving kids would love to have.

After I joined the Church, I learned that charity is also defined as the pure love of Christ. This was surprising, and beautiful. Charity is key to all successful relationships, including marriages and parenthood. Charity is a cornerstone in the ever-stronger home for- tress from the world we are ever seeking to build. Passion is wonderful, and I am a passionate fan of passion in marriage. Charity can increase passion too. It’s the balm of Gilead in marriage.


The following was taken from the book The Pursuit of Happi-Nest by Mary Joanne Bell, currently on sale at