Typically, unicorns and guardian angels are portrayed as the good guys. Such is not the case with Michael Bast’s “Death’s Academy,” which follows the adventures of Midnight Smith, a grim reaper in training, as he studies up for the entrance exam into Death’s Academy.
The book was released on Jan. 14 and is available in bookstores and from online retailers.
What you may not already know is that Deaths and Guardian Angels live among us, in our neighborhoods, driving down our streets. Midnight Smith, a Death, shares how to distinguish a Death’s house from a normal one.
However, I can tell which houses belong to hoodies. You shorties would have a hard time picking them out unless you know what to look for. One easy way to tell is that we still have those old-time antennas on our roofs. You know, the things that look like oversized erector sets jutting this way and that. We use them to pick up the “Hoodie Network.” We have news channels and a few shows that come on in the evening. To be honest with you, the shows are not very creative, and the acting is awful. At least they always end happily—everyone dies.
Another way to tell if a house belongs to a hoodie is if you see a “beware of dog” sign on the house or fence, but the dog is a Chihuahua, wiener dog, or poodle. I mean why should anyone “beware” of something you could punt thirty feet in the air if you wanted to? You’re right, you don’t need to “beware.” But don’t be fooled, that’s only how they appear to you shorties. In reality, they are vicious “hellhounds” that protect our homes.
We have one too. His name’s Roger. To you, he’s a poodle-wiener-dog mix. To me, he’s more fangs than fur. I would describe more what he really looks like, but I want you to be able to sleep tonight.